Well, this is a quick post.
I was actually thinking the other day when was the last time I had actually wrote on this thing... well, it has been a while. Same with my journal too...unfortunately.
God had really rocked my face off this summer and confirmed the plans of going to Denver Seminary... whooowe! It was a big step. First, I had never been out of state permanently before. Second, I really did not know what was in store at the Seminary.
Well...it has been almost 2 months since I have moved out here. I have met some amazing people, been through the wringer with struggles--especially coming to terms on how much it actually costs for 1 person to breathe air in this world! It's ridiculous. Seminary here is good. They told us at the beginning that if we were coming here to receive a "Christian Status" for being at a Seminary, or if we thought that we would become 'super-Christians' by being here, we definitely had another guess coming. It definitely has not been a spiritual high here. Granted, I have learned a lot in my studies and through that, I am beginning to question and solidify what I believe and why I believe that. School is challenging. You really cannot compare undergrad with this...it is night and day. Sometimes (more times than none) it is overwhelming. There simply is not enough time in the day to read and spend time chewing on the material. You have to get things done, and they do expect a lot out of you.
Right now is midterms--which is pretty much over the duration of 2 weeks. I know. yuck. There is so much I should be doing right now, and I will probably end up staying up till the wee hours of the morning...but such is life. Besides being in midterms (which is enough to make your brain hurt) I am just in this weird place right now. It is hard to describe. It feels almost like an out of body experience where you step back and look at your life as it is happening. I am trying to figure out life, and God, and the purposes of it all. I am trying to think not only of next semester classes, but really where God wants me after this Seminary education. I am looking ahead further into the future...hopefully a husband....a family... little kiddies... I am trying to figure out how to worship God in my studies when I am tackling a 41 page review over a Counseling Theories test (which only covers a maximum of half of what is going to be on the actual test).
Most pressing--> I am really trying to figure out who I am. I know that sound have been accomplished somewhere many years ago, but for some reason, I am still trying to figure that out. We have taken a plethora of personality tests and career and life assessment tests, and I find those always a struggle. It's almost like there is this battle on figuring out what I actually am and what I actually want to put down. I am beginning to realize that somethings about me don't make sense...heck, if I am having difficulties figuring out myself, how are my friends supposed to? I am trying to figure out why I think the way I think... why I do the things I do... why I react the way I do in certain situations... and how to work on that.
I suppose that I could keep on writing and writing and dig deeper into the abyss of my mind, but this will suffice for now. Whoever is reading this, I hope all is well... and hopefully, I will try to update this sooner than later.
GO ROCKIES!
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